In the Dark

I had one of those moments last night that no 30 year old single woman wants to have. I'm a little embarrassed about the whole thing, but blogging is a good way as ever to let it all out and move on.


So I have this pesky little light fixture that I've had in my room for quite a while. The other night, while I was sleeping, it decided to fall out of the ceiling, come crashing down on my bed, and make me become an instant 5 star ninja. I had been putting off repairing it, in hopes that it would fix itself....but since I have guests coming into town this weekend decided to give it a go.


Now, before I go any further you need to know that I am incredibly independent. Sometimes so independent that it scares me. Extended periods of singleness will do that to you. Anyway, so here I go attempting to re-do this light fixture on my own. First roadblock: I am too short to reach it. As I mentioned before, the light is directly over my bed and my 5' nothin' stature was just not cooperating. No problem, I will just move the bed, grab one of the tall barstools and I will be able to reach it. After several grunts and possibly some popped veins from all the straining, I discovered I could not move my bed. Now I am no wimp, and actually pretty strong for a girl, but this bed is HEAVY! So, once I discovered that wasn't happening I had the bright idea of putting a step stool on my bed to give me the extra height I needed. As I am typing this I realize that sounds like the dumbest idea EVER, but I sware at after a long day at 11pm it seemed genius. I'm sure you already know what happened next. Girl puts step stool on bed. Girl steps on step stool. Girl goes crashing down onto the floor...hits hip on the edge of bed....and busts her lip wide open. So here I am...on the floor...in the complete dark (b/c I turned off the power to the room in fear of electrocution)....with a throbbing hip and a bloody lip. So I did what any girl in their right mind would do. I got up, cleaned up my lip, stared that light fixture right in the eye and said " round 1 goes to you, but I've got a lot of fight left in me so let's get ready to rumble Baby".


Ok, plan 3. I will stack as many pillows as I can find on top of the bed to add the little boost I need. So I begin constructing the world trade center of pillows. This has to work I thought. So I go to step on the pillows, and whadda ya know....I sink straight to the bottom. I guess pillows are efficient if you are actually using them for the purpose intended (laying your head on them), but they royally suck at holding your entire body weight. Since this was the last idea I had (and it failed), I decided to make like Gumby and see if I could just stretccccchhhh and reach the light. My finger tips barely reached the ceiling. But they did reach it just enough make a face full of ceiling grout fall on me. Don't ever let anyone tell you that stuff tastes good. I now know first hand that it DOESN'T!


That was the last straw for me. There I was..face full of ceiling grout...busted lip...bruised hip...and now I had tears streaming down my face. Those tears were followed by more tears. Tears of anger. Tears of frustration. Tears of "it would be really nice to have a man in my life who could help me with this kind of thing". Tears of "it would really be nice to have a man in my life, period". Tears of failure. I layed on my bed for probably 20 minutes and just wept. I felt so helpless. I cursed the light fixture, the bed, the pillows, and the stepping stool. I think at one point I was even mad at my Mom for giving me her "short" genes.


I was finally able to pull myself together and it this point it was around 12:30am. I decided I was going to give it one more shot. I sat there racking my brain about what I could to reach the ceiling. And then... it came to me! I shot up off the bed...ran over to my closet....and grabbed my secret weapon: the cutest 5 inch platform wedges you have ever seen! I put those suckers on, climbed up on the bed, stuck a flashlight in my mouth and OWNED that light fixture!!!! Take that you good for nothing source of light!


There are a lot of things I learned from this little adventure.


#1- I'm an idiot. A bed is not a stable surface and you should never attempt to "stack" anything on it.


#2 - Even though I am wildly independent, the want/need for a man to love me/help me will always be there.


#3 - Ceiling grout is toxic stuff. I am still hacking that stuff up this morning


And last but not least....


#4 - WITH THE RIGHT PAIR OF SHOES, A GIRL CAN ACHEIVE THE IMPOSSIBLE :)!

I DID IT!

*Another "catch up" blog...please forgive me. I promise to catch you up on my "real time" life soon.*

I did it ya'll! I ran 13.1 miles and didn't die. Actually, I didn't even come close to dying. I did however come close (so close that it may have actually happened) to uttering screaming some profanity that should never leave the mouth of a sweet Southern girl such as myself.


Here's how it went down. The race was on April 1st . My alarm was set for 5:30am, but my nerves/excitement had a different plan. Wide awake...4am. I got up chugged as much water as I could hold and played every "worse case scenario" through my head at least 5 times each. I had promised myself I was going to go ahead and get my negative thoughts out of my head before I left the house.Once I calmed down, I ate half a bagel, with a lil' peanut butter for protein. I really wasn't hungry, but I knew I'd be starving with no energy if I didnt eat something.  I got dressed (see my outfit choice below) and waited for my friends to pick me up.

Yes, that is a new shirt - tags still attatched. A girl must look fabulous at all time...even when she is running 13.1 miles!

Once my friends arrived, we headed over to the race site, the RBC center here in Raleigh. I had no idea what to expect. As you know from my previous post...this was my first race EVER. When we arrived I saw a lot of people! Way more than I expected. I was able to keep the nerves under wraps and headed in to the arena for 1 last potty break. Yea, 1 last potty break with the other 200 women waiting in line. Once, we conquered the long line I headed to the starting line. I, along with my 2 friends who ran the race with me, positioned ourselves about middle of all the runners.


Before I knew it, the race had begun and we were off! My first 6 miles were the fastest I had ever run. My adreniline was out of control and honestly I wasn't tired at all. Until I hit mile 7. Paula meet tired.  My pace slowed down, but I kept plowing through knowing that I had covered more miles than that in my training. By mile 9 I had caught the most hellacious cramps I have ever had in my lower body. And yes, I said lower body, not legs. Lower body, as in from my hips to my feet. Yet again, I plowed on. The cramps could have very well been from me being old, but I like to think they came from my lack of hydration. Every water station from Mile 7-11 ran out of water. Yes, for real. I finally got water on mile 12 and it seriously tasted like heaven! When I first saw the station with water on it... I thought it was a mirage. But then I actually felt them place the cup in my hand and I knew it was real.


Mile 12 was definitley the hardest for me. It seemed so long and my body was sooooo done. Thank goodness for wonderful friends who screamed me all the way to the finish line! I was even able to pull out a little sprint once the finish line was in sight. Hollllller!

If you are wondering if that's the lamest "finish line" you've ever seen, let me reassure you...IT WAS! What's a girl gotta do to get  streamers, glitter, flashing lights, and a marching band!?!?!

You hear of a lot of people collapsing when they cross the finish line, however my legs were so cramped they wouldnt even bend for me to collapse. It didnt matter though... I had just ran every bit of 13.1 miles and in 2 hours and 30 minutes (my goal time that I never actually thought I would make it just sounded good when I was telling people)! I was darn proud of myself then, and I'm darn proud of myself today. Afterwards, we had a make shift tailgate party (with family and friends who had came to cheer us on) complete with some Champagne popping to celebrate!


I was sore dead for about 2 days and then finally felt some sense of normalcy again. I dont know if I will ever run that far again (unless someone is chasing me), but I know that I did it one time. And that's enough for me.


*A special thanks to Jessie and Reed. Jessie was my training partner thru it all. We put alot of miles on our running shoes in 12 weeks and I know I couldn't have done it without her. Reed is Jessie's boyfriend and he ran the race and was a great motivator as well. A huge thank you to Mary Beth and Elizabeth as well. They are pretty much my running heroes and they came to cheer me on. I got to see them several times during the race and they screamed loud enough for me to hear them from a mile away. At one point, near the end, I told them I was dying *turn on the theatrics ladies and gents*. So they basically told me to suck it up and ran with me along the sidelines until I came to my senses. Yep, they are about as awesome as it gets. There support on that day meant the world to me. *

Here is one final pic that my best friend, Mary Beth took during the race:

I am aware that it looks like the older gentleman in the picture (who is likely old enough to be my Great Grandad) is running PAST me. In order to save face, I cannot confirm nor deny the validity of  that accusation.  

Cali-FREAKIN'-fornia

*As promised, here is a little catch up post as to what's been going during my extended blogging absence*

I had a blast on my trip to California. I visited Palm Springs, and even though it was for work - it was a fabululous time! I was there judging an All-Star Cheerleading and Dance Competition. Basically, I judged some amazing athletes (yes, they are athletes and I dare you to disagree), enjoyed a few breaks in the gorgeous sunshine, and then had some free time at night.
I arrived in Cali around noon (their time) on Friday. Upon my arrival, I was wisked away by many of my friends (who also work for the same company) to a little cafe that was having $3.95 All You Can Drink Champagne. Yes, you read that right. Now, I must disclose, this obviously wasn't Dom Perignon...but mix it with a little OJ and BAM, Mimosa Heaven! I won't tell you exactly how long we stayed there....or how much we drank.....or how much fun we had. Just know - we got our moneys worth and I am positive they weren't able to run that deal again for a while because we drank a few months worth of inventory. Oh you don't believe me? Well, here's your proof.

  Exhibit A: Photos I took during our shenenigans

Um, yeah - told ya!

I went to bed super early Friday night. Thanks to the time change and the above mentioned "deal of the century", I was one tired girl. I woke up early Saturday morning feeling refreshed and ready to roll! This was the view outside my hotel room:

I  judged all day and this is where I was "forced" :) to enjoy my break:

(This Pic does not do this place justice. Think perfect weather, beautiful sunshine, palm trees, with a view of the mountains in the distance - and that's more like it)

Jealous? You should be. It was to die for.

Saturday night, the group gathered and hit the town once again. The highlight of the night occured at a bar we visited. There was live music and we headed up to the 2nd floor, which had a loft area that overlooked the dance floor and the outside seating area. And from that loft I saw the greatest thing I have EVER seen! For over an hour straight, I watched a homeless woman standing on a bench outside the bar SHAKE WHAT HER MOMMA GAVE HER! She danced all night long and the girl had MOVES! At one point she even turned around, grabbed the upper part of the bench and then provided us with the ultimate defintion of "jersey turnpiking". Note to my readers: Do Not google "jersey turnpiking" unless you are prepared for what you will find. She was having the time of her life! I loved it. Several people walking down the street stopped to dance with her. I wanted to join her, and possibly capture a video.... but the crew I was with forbid me to do so. Did they think I would embarass her or MYSELF? Let's not ask them :). It just warms my heart to see people enjoying life, no matter their circumstances.

Here is My friend Marion and I taking our annual "lay on the light up floor in the hotel and laugh hysterically like it's the first time we've ever done it" picture once we returned to the hotel:

On Sunday once I finished judging Day 2, we hit up the casino! I went in with $100 and swore on my life I wouldn't spend a dime more. I quickly threw away $40 at the quarter slots and had to walk away before I went all Chuck Norris on that machine. I then made my away over to the roulette table. I was the only girl at the table, and of course, my accent was talk of the town. Every time I'd say something, they would stare at me (mouths wide open) as if I was little green creature that just stepped off of the mothership. The Pit Boss even got in on the action jokingly asking, "So, you are from up North Sweetheart?". Once they finally were able to translate, we had a blast. I had played the number 30 every since I had first sat down. Side note: I was playing "30" because on my 30th Birthday Trip to the Bahamas, the girls and I won big on "30". We were convinced that meant 30 would be the best year of our lives. Everyone around us was convinced it meant that we were CRAZY! My theory was: It worked before...It has to work again. One of the guys at the table (who reffered to me as Lil' Country all night) questioned my adamancy about "30" and assured me that it NEVER hits. I advised him to keep his mouth shut (nothing like a little southern charm) and continued to place at least one chip on "30" with every bet. Eventually my stack of chips had widdled down to about 10. I decided to GO BIG OR GO HOME so I placed half my chips on red, and half on.....you are never going to believe this..... 30! I assured everyone at the table it was going to hit and they better get in while the getting was good. Two other guys at the table decided to entertain me by also placing bets on 30. The dealer closed the bets .....spun the wheel.... andddddd...... 30 hit! Oh my goodness, you should have seen us. We went CA-RAZY! I was hugging those guys as if we'd just found a cure for stupid. They couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. The dealer couldn't believe it. It - was - awesome! I won over $200 bucks on that one spin! I turned that $200 into $250 and then graciously walked away. It was a great time and it never hurts to double your money.

On Monday, I relunctantly headed to the airport and began my trek home. I was not set to arrive back in NC until midnight, but luckily arrived a bit earlier. After along day of travel, rude people, and overpriced airport food I was so glad to be back on NC soil. However, once I turned on my cell phone, I was flooded with notifications of texts and voicemails. I immediatley assumed someone was dead and began to freak out. After reading a few of the texts, I discovered that there was a standoff going on in my complex. A man, who had shot a cop earlier had barracaded himself in his apartment and had threatened he had a bomb. Needless to say, my welcome home party was quite the affair: blue lights, sirens, and a full fledged swat team. Shortly after arriving back at the complex they discovered the man had commited suicide and allowed everyone to go back into their homes. Thank goodness, the cop was not severely injured and no one else was hurt. This is horrible anywhere, but when it happens so close to home it kind of strikes a nerve.

Since I never like to end things on a somber note, I will let you know, that regardless of my homecoming, the actual trip was a blast. The people I judge with are like my family and when we get to see each other a few times throughout the year...we make the most of it. And seriously, it doesn't hurt that we reunite in some beautiful places like Palm Springs. Until next year California!

I'm back!

Hello, my name is Paula and I am a slacker. I have been MIA for quite a while because I have been out of control busy.

First there was the traveling every weekend to judge cheer/dance competitions. Then there was the whole half marathon thing. Followed by several dance competitions that my students participated in...lots of baby showers and weddings sprinkled in between.... and the big end of the year recital for my students (check back soon for updates on these events). I probably should have blogged to release some of my stress, but I was having more fun just complaining about how overly busy I was.

However, my summers are pretty relaxing so expect MUCHO posts to make up for my recent slacking.
I will warn you though, relaxing = some type of adult beverage... so I apologize ahead of time for any non sense that may come across my keyboard.

So please come back, and I will do my best to not embarass myself  entertain you!

Be slow

If you know anything about me... you know I am always on the move. I walk fast...talk fast....and never stay in one spot for too long. However, this week, I've had a couple situations to slap me in the face and suggest I need to slow-my-roll!

Wednesday, I went to my weekly kickboxing class. The instructor is hardcore and for some odd reason I actually like having my life threatened while I work out. I have grown to love this class, not only because it has helped me deliver a mean right hook, but it is a lot of fun! Burning calories....kicking butt.... all to some pretty awesome tunes...it just doesn't get better than that! On this day, in particular, the instructor queued a song by yelling: "Where my sinnnngggle ladddies at?". Of course, I threw both hands up in the air, gave the world a shimmy and screamed to the top of my lungs. Now, this would have been a totally awesome moment IF any of the FORTY women in the class would have also done the same thing. But nope, I was the ONLY ONE who even slightly reacted. So of course, I did what any strong, independent, single women would do.....I turned beat red, slowly lowered my arms, and didn't look anyone else in the eye for the remaining 30 minutes of class. Lesson Learned: Be slow to speak/react not only in anger, but joy as well.

Later on in the week, I was totally crushing on my running buddy's new toy. She had gotten a Nike +. It's a nifty little gadget that measures your mileage/pace while running and updates you through the speakers of your Ipod. I knew I just had to have this little toy, so my thrifty side came out and I began comparing prices online..... at work (this will become relevant in just a moment). I thought I would try out Dick's Sporting Goods, and compare their price with other retailers. I quickly typed in www.(please insert here Dick's Sporting Goods but without the Sporting Goods).com. Well, much to my surprise, that was NOT the website, nor merchandise (ahem)  I was looking for. I immediately became a 5 star Ninja and with arms and legs flailing was trying my best to hit the little x in the corner of my computer screen. For the next 5 minutes, I sat red faced, heart beating out of my chest, staring at my my phone. I was waiting for the dreaded call from the IT Department...but thankfully it never happened. However, I'm certain I'm now on a "monitor closely for pornographic material" list taped to someones cubicle. Lesson Learned: Be slow to assume.Google is your friend.

BITTER-sweet :)

To All You Folks In Love,
 I wish you a very Happy Valentine's Day filled with enough flowers to make you sneeze uncontrollably and enough chocolate to make you fat! *No, I'm not bitter...why do you ask :) ?*

And To All My Single Ladies,

Don't depend on some arrow packing midget in a diaper to determine your happiness. Put on your big girl panties, grab yourself a great big bottle of tequila and show the world who's boss!

P.S. I am still trying to figure out how Cupid missed a target as big as MY butt?!? Seriously, step your game up little fairy boy.



A weekend of Firsts!

Happy Monday everyone! Hope you all had a fantastic weekend! Why am I so perky on  a Monday morning you ask? Well, in just a few short days, I will be on a plane.... Cali bound! 70-80 degree weather? Yes please! I am actually going there for work (boo), but will have some play time as well. I judge All Star Cheerleading and Dance and am lucky enough to travel to some pretty awesome places (Palm Springs, CA being one of them). However, my travel experiences with my judging family deserve a post of their own, so stay tuned.


Back to my weekend,...it was great and full of firsts! On Friday, I traveled to Asheville with my parents to see my niece compete in her very FIRST Gymnastics Competiton. She was competitng early Saturday morning, so we headed down Friday afternoon. We enjoyed some family time with my brother, his wife, and their 2 kids and then tucked in early so we'd be well rested for the next day. On a side note, downtown Asheville is an extremely cute little area. We saw so many adorable little shops and cozy resteraunts/bars. I wish we would have had more to time to explore/experience, but let's be honest.... I'm not as young as I once was and a girl needs her sleep!


We woke up at an unmentionalble time on Saturday morning and headed over to the venue (UNC-Asheville). As I mentioned before, this was my nieces FIRST meet...and I am here to tell you she rocked it out! She competed in 4 events : Floor, Uneven Bars, Vault, and Balance Beam. She placed 4th in 2 events and she placed 4th OVERALL! I was very impressed with her poise and skill level and can't wait to see her progress in this sport. I am so proud of her!


Here is a picture of me and my niece. Everyone calls her "Little Paula" and she thinks it's a compliment. Bless her gullible little heart :).

 I had been taunting her for weeks, jokingly threatening to make embarassing signs to hold up at the meet. I later discovered that she was in fact excited about the idea of signs and I rushed out to find the brightest hot pink poster board in existance. And yes, I brought back the "bomb.com"....a little cheese factor never hurt anyone. She loved it and told me at least 3 times that she couldn't believe she was the only person at the whole meet who had signs. My heart was full.


 My parents decided to make the most of their trip and head to Cherokee to enjoy a couple of nights at the casino. I rode back with my Brother, Sister in Law, and the kids. Most people wouldn't consider a 3 1/2 hour ride cramped between 2 kids as fun, but we had a blast! Proof of our fun can be found in the video below. This was completey unrehearsed. I dare you to watch it and not smile.
  

Yes, I realize my niece completely botched the lyrics - "All the shawtys in the club, let me see your DRESS. Back it up, drop it down, let me see your DRESS."  But seriously, how do you correct a kid with THAT MUCH swagger?




On Sunday, I had another first! I ran 5.4 miles without stopping to walk! My friend Amy, who is also training for the same 1/2 Marathon, came over and we got the job done! It was a gorgeous day out and the run went a lot smoother than expected. We were able to hold decent conversation throughout and we even ran .4 miles over our "required" workout suggested by the training plan. Say whatttt?!?!? This week will be a little rough because I will have to condense all my runs/workouts into 4 days. I could pretend I am going to run in California, but I don't see it happening. I have always allowed  travel to throw a wrench in my workouts, but it's not going to happen this time. I made a commitment and I am sticking to it!


I hope you all have a fabulous start to the week and I will attempt promise to have another post coming your way before I leave for California!